Taj's world

Friday joke

2007-01-05T08:20:00.000-08:00

Mick wanted to buy a motorbike. He doesn't have much luck, until one day he comes across a Harley with a 'For Sale' sign on it. The bike seems even better than a new one, although it is 10 years old. It is shiny and in absolute mint condition. He immediately buys it, and asks the seller how he kept it in such great condition for 10 years. "Well, it's quite simple, really," says the seller, "whenever the bike is outside and it's going to rain, rub Vaseline on the chrome. It protects it from the rain." And he hands Mick a jar of Vaseline.

That night, his girlfriend, Michelle, invites him over to meet her parents. Naturally, they take the bike there. But just before they enter the house, Michelle stops him and says, "I have to tell you something about my family before we go in." "When we eat dinner, we don't talk. In fact, the first person who says anything during dinner has to do the dishes." "No problem," he says. And in they go. Mick is shocked. Right smack in the middle of the living room is a huge stack of dirty dishes. In the kitchen is another huge stack of dishes. Piled up on the stairs, in the corridor, everywhere he looks, dirty dishes. They sit down to dinner and, sure enough, no one says a word. As dinner progresses, Mick decides to take advantage of the situation. So he leans over and kisses Michelle. No one says a word. So he reaches over and fondles her breasts. Still, nobody says a word.

So he stands up, grabs her, rips her clothes off, throws her on the table, and screws her right there, in front of her parents. His girlfriend is a little flustered, her dad is obviously livid, and her mom horrified when he sits back down, but no-one says a word. He looks at her mom. "She's got a great body," he thinks. So he grabs the mom, bends her over the dinner table, and has his way with her every which way, right there on the dinner table.

Now his girlfriend is furious and her dad is boiling, but still, total silence. All of a sudden there is a loud clap of thunder, and it starts to rain. Mick remembers his bike, so he pulls the jar of Vaseline from his pocket. Suddenly the father backs away from the table and shouts, "All right, that's enough, I'll do the f*cking dishes!"

January Blues?

2007-01-04T09:32:00.000-08:00

Good morning everybody. Supposedly it should be the moody January blues, but I don't feel like that. After having just over a week off, I feel refreshed and ready for the new year. The festive Christmas season was brilliant and very nice. Went out on Christmas Eve night with a few cousins, and we somehow proceeded to drink beer, champagne and a number of shots, that couldn't have been good for the human body. But hey, it was all worth it, even if it was because of the sausage and chips I had afterwards! Tasty, until we realised, that the guys who owned it - an indian guy named Charlie - stated he would be charging double as it was christmas eve. Needless to say I won't be going there again. Town was pretty quiet, therefore I don't see the need for such stupidity.

Christmas Day was then spent recovering until the afternoon. I went to my Grandparents where the usual family gathering occurred, and was drinking lots of fluid. I don't know where it all went as I didn't visit the loo until about 8pm! What a great orange string I produced! It was a great 2 days though. Just what Christmas should be like.

I spent the rest of the week sleeping, and eating and drinking. I watched what I could have of the Back to the Future trilogy which was on TV in between going places, and seeing some people. New Years Eve was fairly quiet. I preferred to go round my cousins house rather than go out and about where everything is just busy and expensive.

New Years day was productive as ever, as Wolves beat Barnsley 2-0. It should have been more!! I came back to work on the 2nd of Jan, and a nice 4 day week is much appreciated. Next week is a 3 and a half day week, as I am going to India for just over a week next Thursday. Nice January break!

Merry Christmas

2006-12-22T09:09:00.000-08:00

Wishing you all a merry Christmas and a happy hogmonay

"Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And never brought to mind?
Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And auld lang syne?

CHORUS:
For auld lang syne, my dear,
For auld lang syne,
We'll tak a cup of kindness yet,
For auld lang syne!
And surely ye'll be your pint-stowp,
And surely I'll be mine,
And we'll tak a cup o kindness yet,
For auld lang syne!
We twa hae run about the braes,
And pou'd the gowans fine,
But we've wander'd monie a weary fit,
Sin auld lang syne.
We twa hae paidl'd in the burn
Frae morning sun till dine,
But seas between us braid hae roar'd
Sin auld lang syne.
And there's a hand my trusty fiere,
And gie's a hand o thine,
And we'll tak a right guid-willie waught,
For auld lang syne"

Update

2006-11-20T10:05:00.000-08:00

Well, after being really busy at work last week, and being at a course the week before, I finally get to update my blog. Firstly, Ireland was good. We landed in Derry, and then met a friend, who then drove us to Donegal which is a beautiful part of Ireland. Brialliant scenery and brilliant beaches....yes, I said Beaches. Very nice.

I am just trying to think what other news I have, but it turns out there is nothing. Other than Birmingham drew with Wolves on the weekend. Great result! Oh, and I went to see Borat and Saw 3 in the same evening last week. 2 top films, and they couldn't be more different!!

Friday fun

2006-11-03T11:20:00.000-08:00

A cabbie picks up a Nun. She gets into the cab, and notices that the
VERY handsome cab driver won't stop staring at her. She asks him why
he is staring. He replies: "I have a question to ask you but I don't
want to offend you. "

She answers, "My son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I
am and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and
hear just about everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you could
say or ask that I would find offensive."

"Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me."

She responds, "Well, let's see what we can do about that: #1, you
have to be single and #2, you must be Catholic."

The cab driver is very excited and says, "Yes, I'm single and Catholic!"

"OK" the nun says. "Pull into the next alley."

The nun fulfills his fantasy with a kiss that would make a hooker blush.
But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying.

"My dear child," said the nun, why are you crying?"

Forgive me but I've sinned. I lied and I must confess, I'm married
and I'm Jewish."

The nun says, "That's OK. My name is Kevin and I'm going to a
Halloween party."

Derry, here i come

2006-11-03T11:17:00.000-08:00

After our exploits in France, me and my brother are going to Derry tomorrow until Sunday. Looking forward to that, and to drinking a proper pint of Guinness!

In other news I went to the Liverpool game on Tuesday at Anfield against Bordeaux. That was good. I have never been to Anfield, or Liverpool, but I enjoyed it. Anfield is quite a nice stadium, and just opposite the Kop end, outside the ground there was a brilliant kebab shop, that would give Cotswold kebab in Cheltenham a good run for its money. It was delicious! Went to the pub next door to it as well, and that was an experience! It was packed, with liverpool fans singing Liverpool songs*. Great atmosphere!

* Thats Liverpool football club songs, not random Liverpool songs. That would be riduclous!

Paris is great!

2006-11-02T13:20:00.000-08:00

Well, as for as the wishlist goes, we did 2 out of 5 which aint bad, however, we did alot of additional stuff too. Paris is an amazing city. We tried the snails - they were a bit chewy, but they came in a nice garlic and butter sauce, and we tried frogs legs. They weren't too bad at all - they were just like chicken wings, but a little more watery. Nice though.

We saw the Mona Lisa at the Loeuvre, and that place was really trully amazing. Brilliant. Plenty to see, and looked really nice.

We didn't go to Moulin Rouge, it would have been good, but there wasn't the time.
There were some nice irish pubs around paris. They were great. The guiness and kreonunburg there was tasty. We found another drink there at the pub which we were watching Sky Sports News on Saturday afternoon - It was 90% Cider and 10% Orange Juice. Not sure what it was called but it was a really refreshing drink. Try it. But apparently, you only notice the effects of the drink when you have about 4 or 5, stand up and fall ar$e over t*t. Be warned!!

Paris, What a woman!

2006-10-26T09:09:00.000-07:00

Off to Paris tonight for 4 days. Going to get the Eurotstar tonight. Should be good. I am looking forward to it, although some people say Paris isn't as nice as you might think.

The paris wish list, in no particular order:
1. Try eating snails and horse meat - and frogs legs
2. Go and see the Mona Lisa
3. Go to the Moulin Rouge
4. Buy a tie or a pair of shoes or cufflinks - not sure about this one, but my brother seems keen on it.
5. Go to the Stade de France.

I am sure more things will get added to the list once we get there.

Viva la france!

Wise words !

2006-10-23T04:48:00.000-07:00

The dodo died. Then Dodi died, Di died and Dando died. Dido must be
sh*tting herself.

Is it fair to say that there'd be less litter in Britain if blind
people were given pointed sticks?

If you're being chased by a police dog, try not to go through a
tunnel, then onto a little seesaw, then jump through a hoop of fire.
They're trained for that !

My parents are from Glasgow which means they're incredibly hard, but I
was never smacked as a child... well maybe one or two grams to help get
me to sleep at night.

Got a phone call today to do a gig at a fire station. Went along.
Turned out it was a bloody hoax.

A dog goes into a hardware store and says: "I'd like a job please".
The hardware store owner says: "We don't hire dogs, why don't you go
join the circus?" The dog replies: "What would the circus want with a
plumber".

It's easy to distract fat people. It's a piece of cake.

The Team do

2006-10-23T04:27:00.000-07:00

The team do was good fun. We had a couple of games of bowling, and then a couple of games of pool. I came 2nd in one of the bowling games, and won my one and only pool game. It was good. Me and 4 others went to Frankie & Benny' s afterwards. The place is really nice, and the food was tasty, especially as we were all hungry.

Weekend was busy. Wolves lost to their fierce midland rivals, but lets not talk about that.

Team morale do tonight

2006-10-19T00:27:00.000-07:00

...Planned military styley by one of the team leaders....

Arrive at the Bowling Ally for 17:45 looking to start at 18:00.
From their people who are bowling will bowl, people who are just playing pool will play pool, the people doing both will be running between the tables and the lanes.

Straight after the bowling we will be making our way down to TinTins in Donnington where the tables are booked from 20:30. There are enough people driving from the bowling ally to the restaurant to avoid the need for Taxis. I am afraid getting home is for the individuals to make their own arrangements.
(Tin Tin Cantonese Restaurant pleaded guilty to five offences under the Food Safety (General Food Hygiene) Regulations 1995 for failing to keep premises in a clean condition, failure to ensure a suitable hazard analysis system, failing to ensure that floor surfaces were maintained and failure to ensure that food is kept from the risks of contamination and one offence under the General Food Regulations 2004 for keeping food that is unfit for human consumption.)

....I can see a Sickie coming on.

**This is taken from the Burdman's blog. Said it all, so i didn't have to. (Burdman, (2006))

A quiet shift

2006-10-18T11:41:00.000-07:00

On the late shift this week, and its a bit quiet today. Apart from the cleaner who has her hoover on the loudest setting possible. Its amazing how much an office can get so dirty, in one working day. She won't let that hinder her goal to have the cleanest office in town.

Wolves won last night. Not that they deserved it, however, its better to play bad and win, then to be bad. Its Albion next - on Sunday. That should be interesting. Albion have been scoring goals, and wolves haven't been letting any in. Should make for a good 0-0 draw.

I'm back in town

2006-10-17T07:21:00.000-07:00

I am back with a new and improved blog. I am definitely going to make more of an effort to keep up with the blog. So, whats new in my life? Nothing much apart from I am busy at work, and have been working at the same place since February - 9 months. They have gone quick.

On a separate note, there is a wolves match tonight. They are playing Coventry. Should be good.

Another new job

2005-12-30T14:32:00.000-08:00

Well, here is some exciting news. After I got offered the job in Newcastle-Under-Lyme I was relatively happy. However, Cap Gemini also offered me an interview and so I thought "Oh, what the heck" and went for it to see what they could offer me. And low and be-hold, I got the job! I am so much more happier now, as the job is based in up and coming Telford, and is a really good job. It is for a better company, so it will be challenging. It is for a software tester, and they offered me the same as Phones4u were going to offer me! How exciting. Now all I have to do is let Phones4u down gently. Any ideas on how I can approach this?

A new job and yet another new beginning.

2005-12-15T02:57:00.000-08:00

Last week I went for 2 interviews for the same job, and on Monday they called me and offered me the job!! How exciting.... Its working for Phones4u in Newcastle-Under-Lyme as a software tester. It is a great opportunity and better than where I am at the moment. While I was happy and thinking of my greatness, another big IT company in Birmingham -Cap Gemini - asked me for an interview, so in true Taj fashion I went to the interview yesterday. I should hear from them soon. But if I do get that I will be very confused. I wouldn't know which one to take because both have their advantages as they do their disadvantages!! One thing is for certain. I will be leaving the sunny shores of Cheltenham. I don't know if that makes me sad, or if it leaves me jumping for joy. How did you feel Robert?

What superhero am i?

2005-12-06T02:53:00.000-08:00

I know I haven't blogged for a while now, but I will make more of a concerted effort in updating it. I was sent a website link today which told me what super hero I am. I happen to agree with the results. What can't speak, can't lie.

Your results:
You are Superman

Superman		100%
Green Lantern		80%
Iron Man		80%
Spider-Man		70%
Supergirl		60%
The Flash		55%
Robin		50%
Hulk		50%
Batman		40%
Wonder Woman		40%
Catwoman		10%

You are mild-mannered, good,
strong and you love to help others.
.

Click here to take the "Which Superhero are you?" quiz...

Funny Joke

2005-08-25T09:59:00.000-07:00

A father watched his young daughter playing in the garden. He smiled as he reflected on how sweet and pure his little girl was. Tears formed in his eyes as he thought about her seeing the wonders of nature through such innocent eyes. Suddenly she just stopped and stared at the ground. He went over to her to see what work of God had captured her attention. He noticed she was looking at two spiders mating. "Daddy, what are those two spiders doing?" she asked. "They're mating," her father replied. "What do you call the spider on top?" she asked. "That's a daddy longlegs" her father answered. "So, the other one is a Mommy Longlegs?" the little girl asked. As his heart soared with the joy of such a cute and innocent question he replied "No dear. Both of them are Daddy Longlegs." The little girl, looking a little puzzled, thought for a moment, then took her foot and stomped them flat. "Well, we're not having any of that queer poofter shit in our garden" she said.

Bull

2005-07-21T14:21:00.000-07:00

An American touring Spain stopped at a local restaurant following a day of sightseeing. While sipping his sangria, he noticed a sizzling, scrumptious looking platter being served at the next table. Not only did it look good,the smell was wonderful.

He asked the waiter, "What is that you just served?" The waiter replied, "Ah senor, you have excellent taste! Those are bull's t e s t i c l e s from the bull fight this morning. A delicacy!" The American, though momentarily daunted, said, "What the hell, I'm on vacation! Bring me an order!"

The waiter replied, "I am so sorry senor. There is only one serving per day because there is only one bull fight each morning. If you come early tomorrow and place your order, we will be sure to save you this delicacy!"

The next morning, the American returned, placed his order, and then that evening he was served the one and only special delicacy of the day. After a few bites, and inspecting the contents of his platter, he called to the waiter and said..."These are delicious, but they are much, much smaller than the ones I saw you serve yesterday!"The waiter shrugged his shoulders and replied, "Si senor. Sometimes the bull wins."

Master Taj

2005-07-21T12:24:00.000-07:00

Well, after all the work, the results are finally in, and I have got my MSc dissertation results!! I got a B, which therefore means I have now got my MSc in Commercial Computing. I can now put another 3 letters after my name, that no-one - apart from employers - cares about. Its a good feeling, that I am now about to close the door on my studying life. After 20 years of schooling, I can now look forward to a blissful life....working!?! Great!?!

I just have to share this, because its genius!!........

so theres this family of balloons, mummy balloon, daddy balloon and their
kid. one day, they say, "baby balloon youre not allowed to come sleep in
mummy and daddys bed again from now on.

during the night the baby balloon approached mummy and daddy baloons bed and
tried to get in, but he couldnt..so he let a little bit of air out of mummy
balloon and tried to climb in...still not enough room.so he let out a little
air from daddy balloon. there stil wasnt enought room. In the end , baby
balloon did something dangerous and let a little air out from himself. in
the end, he managed to fit in the bed and went to sleep.

in the morning, mummy and daddy balloon woke up and were both disappointed.
Daddy balloon woke up baby and said..
"not only did you let your mother and me down, most of all, you let yourself
down"

Amsterdam....here i come

2005-07-14T13:50:00.000-07:00

Well, after all the planning (4 days), after all the thinking (5-10 mins), after all the hotel finding (1 day) I am going to be off to Amsterdam in the first week of August. For 4 days I will get Amsterdam fever, (and hopefully, no other disease!!!). Just me and my cousin are going so it should be a good laugh.

Now, Amsterdam, is a great city, because of its parks, museums and coffee shops, but does anybody else know what I could do there. It has beaches nearby too which could be a possibility. I can't possibly think of anything else to do there......does anybody have any ideas?? Obviously I am going there for the zoo, and the museums!! There couldn't be any other reason, could there?? (Mua Ha Ha).

ICE

2005-07-11T00:24:00.000-07:00

Following the disaster in London East AnglianAmbulance Service have launched a national "In case of Emergency ( ICE)" campaign with the support of Falklandswar hero Simon Weston and in association with Vodafone's annual life savers award. The idea is that you store the word " I C E " in your mobile phone address book, and against it enter the number of the person you would want to be contacted "In Case of Emergency".

In an emergency situation ambulance and hospital staff will then be able to quickly find out who your next of kin are and be able to contact them. It's so simple that everyone can do it. Please do. Please will you also forward this to everybody in your address book, it won't take too many 'forwards' before everybody will know about this. It really could save your life.
For more than one contact name ICE1, ICE2, ICE3 etc

As a wise man once said.....

2005-07-08T13:05:00.000-07:00

"Silence is easy...It is easier not to blog, so well done to people who blog however busy they are at the time".

As you may have noticed, I haven't updated my blog for a while now. Due to other issues, and being very busy at work I have been a bit slack, but now....I'M BACK!!!

I will leave you with these quotes:

"If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definetely isn't for you!"

and

"Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped".

Agreed?

This is the way

2005-05-18T14:11:00.000-07:00

1 .Start at London Heathrow Airport.

2 .Catch flight from London Heathrow to Dallas Fort Worth Airport.

3 .Hire car at Dallas Fort Worth Airport.

4 .Start going toward the "Airport Exit" on "International Parkway South" - follow for 0.2 miles.

5 .Bear left onto the highway toward "Terminal East Parking" - followfor 0.3 miles

6 .Bear left onto "International Parkway North" toward "North Airport Exit" - follow for 2.9 miles

7 .Take the "Highway 114 west" exit toward "Fort Worth" - follow for 29.2 miles

8 .Then continue on "US 287 north" - follow for 91.1 miles

9 ."US 287 north" becomes "Interstate-44 east" - follow for 0.7 miles

10 .Take left fork onto "US-287 north" toward "Vernon" - follow for 104.0 miles

11 ."US 287 north" becomes "Avenue F (US-287)" - follow for 2.8 miles

12 .Continue to follow "US 287 north" - follow for 104.9 miles

13 .Take left ramp onto "Interstate 40 west" toward "Dumas" - follow
for 7.8 miles 14.Take "Exit 70" onto "US 60 east" toward "Dumas" -
follow for 0.5 miles

15 .Take the "Buchanan Street" exit toward "Dumas/Pampa" - follow for 1.7 miles

16 .Turn right onto "Old Route 66 (Interstate 40)" - follow for 0.1 miles

17 Arrive at the centre of "Amarillo, Texas"

Now that's the way to f**k**g Amarillo!!!!!!!!

SO CAN EVERYONE STOP SINGING IT NOW . . .!

Let me just Sabre the thought

2005-05-09T11:14:00.000-07:00

Celebrating the forthcoming release of Star wars episode III - Revenge of the sith, Play.com are selling a replica light sabre for £99.99. There is a Luke Skywalker replica sabre, and a Darth vader one, which looks much better. And it comes with its own custom made stand.

http://www.play.com/play247.asp?pa=srmr&page=title&r=GADG&title=627493

How good is that? And for an explanation of how it works and how to use it safely i came across this site which explains all.

http://www.howstuffworks.com/lightsaber.htm

It shows what it can do, and what it could be used for. I wander if it can be used as a badminton racket! Whatever the use, it would be a brilliant self-defence tool. Who wants to get one, and duel with me??? Who can think of a good use for it? Who has any ideas, on how they would use it.

Friday night

2005-05-06T19:00:00.000-07:00

I have something to talk about!! Now that the two ronnies has finished on BBC 1, which incidentally, i was not chuffed about, they are replacing it with something just as good, but not quite as funny, but it will do. Thats right everyone, The Lenny Henry Show is on tonight. Looks promising, but i do like Lenny Henry. And he is from around Wolverhampton way. It shows, when being born in Wolverhampton, the success one can achieve!! Great motivation...anyway i digress...Hopefully it should be funny. Friday nights, however, will just not be the same with no Two Ronnies to watch! Oh well, there's always Eastenders, isn't that right Rob??

Something to write

2005-05-06T18:00:00.000-07:00

Errrmmmmmm.............

Results so far

2005-05-06T17:30:00.000-07:00

UK SCOREBOARD

Party Seats + - Net

LAB 355 0 47 -47

CON 197 36 3 +33

LD 62 16 5 +11

SNP 6 2 0 +2

PC 3 0 1 -1

IKHH 1 0 0 0

SF 1 0 0 0

DUP 0 0 0 0

SDLP 0 0 0 0

UUP 0 0 0 0

Others 2 2 0 +2
627 of 646 seats declared
Aren't Labout, just great??

Nothing to write

2005-05-06T16:06:00.000-07:00

Errrmmmmmm.............

Nothing to write

2005-05-06T12:32:00.000-07:00

As much as i want to, i can't think of anything useful, informative, or imaganitive to write in my blog. So i guess i will just keep thinking......

Who shall i vote for??

2005-04-27T08:18:00.000-07:00

On our work forum i saw this handy website posted, to make people decide who they want to vote for. http://www.whoshouldyouvotefor.com/ Its very good, as it asks 25 multiple choice questions and then gives you the results, and ultimately the political party you should vote for. I wasn't too surprised over the results though. They are:

Who should I vote for?

Your expected outcome:

Labour

Your actual outcome:

Labour -17
Conservative 14
Liberal Democrat 16
UK Independence Party 1
Green 2

You should vote: Liberal Democrat

The LibDems take a strong stand against tax cuts and a strong one in favour of public services: they would make long-term residential care for the elderly free across the UK, and scrap university tuition fees. They are in favour of a ban on smoking in public places, but would relax laws on cannabis. They propose to change vehicle taxation to be based on usage rather than ownership.

Take the test at Who Should You Vote For at Who Should You Vote For and let me know the results.

Is my typing getting faster?

2005-04-22T12:15:00.000-07:00

Since i have started the job that i am doing, which has been 3 months now, i feel my fingers have got better at typing. They have become more accurate and more faster towards the keyboard. Its good, because in the modern world we live in, fast typing is a necessity. Typing in phones is always handy. Lucky for me I have quick hand and wrist co-ordination. Aaaaaanyway, my typing is quicker which means, it should be quicker to update my blog. If only i could think quicker, then the two should go together quite nicely.

For everyone with active minds this link is very good to pass the time:
http://www.eviltree.de/zoomquilt/zoom.htm

For every man and woman there is a Harley:
http://uk.download.yahoo.com/ne/fu/oa/harleyd.pps

I am updating my blog again already!

2005-04-18T14:43:00.000-07:00

.........So i thought to myself i had better update my blog. So here it is: an updated blog.

Had a nice weekend, went to Wolverhampton on Friday night and went to the pub with some mates. It was nice, had a *couple* of beverages and got a kebab afterwards. Heaven! I proceded to go to the wolves match on Saturday afternoon. It was good, apart from it was in Coventry and the stadium is a bit....how can i put this.... old and shit*y. Was an ok game apart from the fact that it was another draw.

For those of you interested:

http://skysports.planetfootball.com/list.asp?hlid=270373&lid=
4&cpid=10&title=Wolves+draw+again&channel=Championship

Lets not mention the R word Rob.

I did learn one word from the article above which i thought was a nice word: Stagnate, Definition: To cease to flow; to be motionless; as, blood stagnates in the veins of an animal; hence, to become impure or foul by want of motion; as, air stagnates in a close room.

I think i will sit at my desk at work and stagnate (Hmmm, sounds rude....sounds good).

Friday night means one thing.....

2005-04-15T09:50:00.000-07:00

Yes thats right people. Its friday, so that only means one thing. Yes, you have guessed it...The Two Ronnies Sketchbook is on tonight. Just in case anyone doesn't know about the Two Ronnies, cause they are busy making nettle soup or don't have a tv "The show revolved around comic sketches in which Barker and Corbett appeared together and separately. The sketches often revolved around complex word-play, much of it written by Barker, and seldom equalled".

Ronnie Barker quote: "And in a packed programme tonight, I shall be having a word with a man who goes in for meditation, because he thinks it’s better than sitting around doing nothing."

Here are 3 fabulous news items which show how clever the Two Ronnies is:

"A cement mixer collided with a prison van on the Kingston Pass. Motorists are asked to be on the lookout for 16 hardened criminals".

"The toilets at a local police station have been stolen. Police say they have nothing to go on".

"Finally, it was revealed in a government survey published today that the Prime Minister is doing the work of two men. Laurel and Hardy."

So funny.

http://pegnsean.net/~occupant/news.htm for more.

Can't think of much to say

2005-04-08T15:43:00.000-07:00

Friday...end of a busy working week....can't think of a better way to end the working week than to send another cartman quote. This one is good...so ladies, pay attention....

Cartman: If some sissy chick tried to kick my ass I would say hey, missy, go knit me a sweater before I slap you in the face!

I thought that was funny. And something that is just as funny is the next fascinating cartman quote (which i am sure all guys will appreciate) , which is intriguing as well as it is Intuitive:

Cartman: It's a man's obligation to stick his boneration in a women's separation; this sort of penetration will increase the population of the younger generation.

Cartman really reminds me of Dan. I think Cartman is the little boy stuck in Dan's body but has no intention of coming out of him until he is 40!

What a day!

2005-04-01T15:26:00.000-08:00

Last night, i finished work a bit late (7.30pm) and a guy from my team asked me if i wanted to go to the pub just for 1 drink before going home. Shortly afterwards my team leader joined us, and 1 drink turned into 5 pints in Taylors and vodka shortly followed, proceeding with a visit to Subtone. I never got back until about 2am and so you can imagine how i have felt today. I am feeling much better now than i was this morning. I was feeling rough, and vowed i would never drink again! I would love a short nap when i get home today, however there is a chance I could work late tonight, and i am also working tommorow on my one and only day off. Happy days!

Games at work

2005-03-30T11:30:00.000-08:00

After a nice relaxing weekend and more days off then i am used to, i am now back to the great pleasure that is work. Today though, is a little slow, as we have plenty of work to be getting on with, but servers are being messed with and therefore are hindering us. Its a good job i was sent a couple of games to keep me amused. I think i will share them with whoever is reading this, especially Mad as she must be bored or may need a distraction from her holiday in Cheltenham (I could think of better places to go!). Try this http://www.holdthebutton.com/index.html (good to pass the time) and http://195.92.224.73/j20/content/host.asp which is very entertaining. And for you Rob, this is very good - http://www.doodie.com/whack.php. Enjoy.

Looking forward to the weekend

2005-03-23T15:43:00.000-08:00

Yes, tommorow is the last working day of the week, and i have a nice long weekend to look forward to. I am going to wolverhampton tommorow, and am having friday, sunday and monday off. Thats heaven for me, as i normally work 6 days a week! It should be a good weekend, and hopefully weatherwise it should be good, so that i can take my car out in the sun, and do a Jeremy Clarkson-type review of it. Not sure i will be wheel spinning or smoking it like he does though. Must take care of my little beauty. Crazy weekend in store i think. Crazy but nice.

A nice car

2005-03-22T14:40:00.000-08:00

I finally got my fabulous, fantastic car over the weekend and it is great. Its a nice blue convertible MG. I am a little nervous about parking it...if only i could fold it up and put it in my pocket. I also bought a new stereo for it, which was a fabulous deal. Its great. The car has given me renewed confidence and a new outlook on life. "You only live once and tommorow may never come, so live for today!". That sounds good doesn't it. Sometimes i even impress myself.....aaaanyway, i was browsing the internet and stumbled across a great quote which was applicable to all walks of life. Its from Cartman of Southpark fame, and it goes a little something like this:

Cartman: "I would never let a woman kick my ass. If she tried something, I'd be like, HEY! You get your bitch ass back in the kitchen and make me some pie!"

What a bloke! And for all you ladies reading, don't you ever forget it!

Oh my god, its been a week since....

2005-03-15T15:09:00.000-08:00

...i have updated my blog. I don't know where that week has gone. I think i have gone through a time warp and not realised. Damn...i wish i did realise....aaaanyway, I have been a little busy at work and sheer laziness has crept in to my blog updating too. I am thinking about getting a new car. I am not sure which yet, but maybe a convertible MG. I am abit undecided as it is small and i hope it doesn't make me look too feminine. Please feel free to comment as they will be well received.

Its in

2005-03-08T13:30:00.000-08:00

Thats it! Its over! After all the research, after all the reading, after all the writing, after all the typing, after all the meetings, it has finally been handed in and the fat lady is singing a fine tune. During my lunch break today, i managed to go and hand in my dissertation. Truthfully i thought i would feel a huge weight lift off my shoulder. I do feel a little bit of the weight shifting off me, however more weight will shift as soon as i get the result which will hopefully be coming in July. At least i have done it now, and i can now relax and not worry about uni for a while. Its quite a good feeling. I will now just continue enjoying that feeling......

I'm scared....

2005-03-07T14:07:00.000-08:00

because i have just had my dissertation bound during my lunch break. It all makes it official, and i am not sure i want to hand it in. What if i fail? What if i don't do as good as i want to? What if i missed something and there is a big mistake in it. Oh well, i still have a couple of days to look through it and ensure that it looks alright. Its one small step for me and one giant leap for surveillance at the University!!!

Is it good to listen to music whilst you work?

2005-03-03T13:51:00.000-08:00

I have started doing it. Mostly everyone else in my team does it. But is it a good idea? Listening to music while you work is relaxing, however does it help concentration. I, myself, feel better whilst listening to music as i work. Luckily the good thing is everyone uses there headphones to ensure no-one else has to endure their taste of music. What a great idea! Somehow i feel more motivated sitting at work listening to music, and i seem to do the same amount of work. What a great job i have!!

Choccie biscuits

2005-03-01T16:42:00.000-08:00

I have found something that can only be described as pure heaven in your mouth - Cadbury's Chocolate biscuits. I am not sure if its because i haven't had chocolate biscuits for ages, but these little beauties are really nice. I recommend them!! I finally bought some maltesers hot chocolate last night as well as it is nice. Am i turning into a chocolate junkie, or is it just a phase? Only time will tell. Now all i need is alcohol flavoured biscuits or alcohol flavoured hot milk and then my life would be more complete. I have tried hot chocolate with a shot of baileys. That is nice.

Its Payday

2005-02-25T15:53:00.000-08:00

Its friday and i am glad its the end of the week. I got paid today for the first time since i started my new IT job and boy was it great! Working on a permanent 9-5, 5 days a week job all seems worthwhile now! To celebrate i bought myself a new freeview box and a new aerial to go with it to put in my new room. Hopefully it should work nicely! Preparations for the Summer Ball 2005 bought to us by the good old University of Gloucestershire have started too. Have got quite a number of people to agree to go. I am working on 2 more people who would make my life complete. They know it makes sense. Only 35 mins of work left and then its the weekend! Can't wait to catch up on some much needed sleep tommorow! Bring on the weekend!

Move went well

2005-02-24T15:36:00.000-08:00

The move went ok thanks to my friends that helped me. It didn't take long to move my stuff. I am very tired today though. Maybe because i went for a couple of drinks at the local, and got a nice pizza and watched desperate housewives which incidentally i thought was good. I met 2 other people that lived in the house but 1 wasn't there all evening. They seem nice but it looks like they keep themselves to themselves. Hopefully i can keep myself busy enough. More moving tonight as i am helping one of my friends with his move. Hopefully i can get some sleep tonight though, that would be nice, and i want to sleep early tonight so that tommorow comes quicker...tommorow being "Pay-Day"! YIPPPEEEEEEEEEEEE!!

Badminton success

2005-02-23T14:11:00.000-08:00

Yes! As the title suggests I did win last night. Although it was a very tiring, exhausting victory. I have never been so tired during a badminton game. Could i be losing some of my fitness since i started my new job sitting at a desk all day, which consists of me only exercising my fingers when i type? I guess i will find out later when i move my stuff into my new room. Thats when my true stamina will come into play lugging everything down 3 flights of stairs and then into the car. I am a little nervous, as i haven't met the people that i am going to be living with yet. I haven't got that much stuff so i guess i should be ok. The snow and the arctic weather does not help though. I have to avoid getting stuck to the icy floor everytime i step outside to load the car up. Cue hot water and de-icer.

Busy day

2005-02-22T14:20:00.000-08:00

Well. Its Tuesday, and its that time again. I am trying to save all my energy for a badminton session tonight. This might be difficult as i will be working late today. I am hope i am not too late, i need my well preserved energy to stay,well.....preserved. It should be interesting, and then on top of that i need to pack my stuff as i am moving into a shared house tommorow. I better go easy on my badminton partner as he is helping me move. I think I should let him win like i normally try to do every week so that he does more work for me tommorow!!! I might even try and nick a couple of minstrels from his glovebox which he so passionately keeps treasured. Need to think of a plan......(I have my thinking cap on!....Now i need to find 10 other experts that will help me with "Taj's Eleven") I think i may have too much time on my hands!!

My very own Blog!

2005-02-21T16:00:00.000-08:00

After all the thinking and wandering around, i have finally set up my very own Blog! It was quite easy, however, i haven't gone through all the settings yet. Its very basic...Well welcome to World Taj. Its going to be a rocking, one hell of a roller coaster ride, with lots of thrills on the way.....who am i kidding. I am an I.T. geek. My world is neither rocking or thrilling. I work 6 days a week so not much excitement there. I guess i will let you decide on how wacky and wonderful my world is.

Labour -17
	Conservative 14
	Liberal Democrat 16
	UK Independence Party 1
	Green 2

Taj's world

Friday joke

January Blues?

Merry Christmas

Update

Friday fun

Derry, here i come

Paris is great!

Paris, What a woman!

Wise words !

The Team do

Team morale do tonight

A quiet shift

I'm back in town

Another new job

A new job and yet another new beginning.

What superhero am i?

Funny Joke

Bull

Master Taj

Amsterdam....here i come

ICE

As a wise man once said.....

This is the way

Let me just Sabre the thought

Friday night

Something to write

Results so far

Nothing to write

Nothing to write

Who shall i vote for??

Who should I vote for?

Your expected outcome:

Your actual outcome:

Labour -17 Conservative 14 Liberal Democrat 16 UK Independence Party 1 Green 2

You should vote: Liberal Democrat

Is my typing getting faster?

I am updating my blog again already!

Friday night means one thing.....

Can't think of much to say

What a day!

Games at work

Looking forward to the weekend

A nice car

Oh my god, its been a week since....

Its in

I'm scared....

Is it good to listen to music whilst you work?

Choccie biscuits

Its Payday

Move went well

Badminton success

Busy day

My very own Blog!

Labour -17
Conservative 14
Liberal Democrat 16
UK Independence Party 1
Green 2