Friday joke

Mick wanted to buy a motorbike. He doesn't have much luck, until one day he comes across a Harley with a 'For Sale' sign on it. The bike seems even better than a new one, although it is 10 years old. It is shiny and in absolute mint condition. He immediately buys it, and asks the seller how he kept it in such great condition for 10 years. "Well, it's quite simple, really," says the seller, "whenever the bike is outside and it's going to rain, rub Vaseline on the chrome. It protects it from the rain." And he hands Mick a jar of Vaseline.

That night, his girlfriend, Michelle, invites him over to meet her parents. Naturally, they take the bike there. But just before they enter the house, Michelle stops him and says, "I have to tell you something about my family before we go in." "When we eat dinner, we don't talk. In fact, the first person who says anything during dinner has to do the dishes." "No problem," he says. And in they go. Mick is shocked. Right smack in the middle of the living room is a huge stack of dirty dishes. In the kitchen is another huge stack of dishes. Piled up on the stairs, in the corridor, everywhere he looks, dirty dishes. They sit down to dinner and, sure enough, no one says a word. As dinner progresses, Mick decides to take advantage of the situation. So he leans over and kisses Michelle. No one says a word. So he reaches over and fondles her breasts. Still, nobody says a word.

So he stands up, grabs her, rips her clothes off, throws her on the table, and screws her right there, in front of her parents. His girlfriend is a little flustered, her dad is obviously livid, and her mom horrified when he sits back down, but no-one says a word. He looks at her mom. "She's got a great body," he thinks. So he grabs the mom, bends her over the dinner table, and has his way with her every which way, right there on the dinner table.

Now his girlfriend is furious and her dad is boiling, but still, total silence. All of a sudden there is a loud clap of thunder, and it starts to rain. Mick remembers his bike, so he pulls the jar of Vaseline from his pocket. Suddenly the father backs away from the table and shouts, "All right, that's enough, I'll do the f*cking dishes!"

January Blues?

Good morning everybody. Supposedly it should be the moody January blues, but I don't feel like that. After having just over a week off, I feel refreshed and ready for the new year. The festive Christmas season was brilliant and very nice. Went out on Christmas Eve night with a few cousins, and we somehow proceeded to drink beer, champagne and a number of shots, that couldn't have been good for the human body. But hey, it was all worth it, even if it was because of the sausage and chips I had afterwards! Tasty, until we realised, that the guys who owned it - an indian guy named Charlie - stated he would be charging double as it was christmas eve. Needless to say I won't be going there again. Town was pretty quiet, therefore I don't see the need for such stupidity.

Christmas Day was then spent recovering until the afternoon. I went to my Grandparents where the usual family gathering occurred, and was drinking lots of fluid. I don't know where it all went as I didn't visit the loo until about 8pm! What a great orange string I produced! It was a great 2 days though. Just what Christmas should be like.

I spent the rest of the week sleeping, and eating and drinking. I watched what I could have of the Back to the Future trilogy which was on TV in between going places, and seeing some people. New Years Eve was fairly quiet. I preferred to go round my cousins house rather than go out and about where everything is just busy and expensive.

New Years day was productive as ever, as Wolves beat Barnsley 2-0. It should have been more!! I came back to work on the 2nd of Jan, and a nice 4 day week is much appreciated. Next week is a 3 and a half day week, as I am going to India for just over a week next Thursday. Nice January break!