Taj's world

Friday, January 05, 2007

Friday joke

Mick wanted to buy a motorbike. He doesn't have much luck, until one day he comes across a Harley with a 'For Sale' sign on it. The bike seems even better than a new one, although it is 10 years old. It is shiny and in absolute mint condition. He immediately buys it, and asks the seller how he kept it in such great condition for 10 years. "Well, it's quite simple, really," says the seller, "whenever the bike is outside and it's going to rain, rub Vaseline on the chrome. It protects it from the rain." And he hands Mick a jar of Vaseline.

That night, his girlfriend, Michelle, invites him over to meet her parents. Naturally, they take the bike there. But just before they enter the house, Michelle stops him and says, "I have to tell you something about my family before we go in." "When we eat dinner, we don't talk. In fact, the first person who says anything during dinner has to do the dishes." "No problem," he says. And in they go. Mick is shocked. Right smack in the middle of the living room is a huge stack of dirty dishes. In the kitchen is another huge stack of dishes. Piled up on the stairs, in the corridor, everywhere he looks, dirty dishes. They sit down to dinner and, sure enough, no one says a word. As dinner progresses, Mick decides to take advantage of the situation. So he leans over and kisses Michelle. No one says a word. So he reaches over and fondles her breasts. Still, nobody says a word.

So he stands up, grabs her, rips her clothes off, throws her on the table, and screws her right there, in front of her parents. His girlfriend is a little flustered, her dad is obviously livid, and her mom horrified when he sits back down, but no-one says a word. He looks at her mom. "She's got a great body," he thinks. So he grabs the mom, bends her over the dinner table, and has his way with her every which way, right there on the dinner table.

Now his girlfriend is furious and her dad is boiling, but still, total silence. All of a sudden there is a loud clap of thunder, and it starts to rain. Mick remembers his bike, so he pulls the jar of Vaseline from his pocket. Suddenly the father backs away from the table and shouts, "All right, that's enough, I'll do the f*cking dishes!"

Thursday, January 04, 2007

January Blues?

Good morning everybody. Supposedly it should be the moody January blues, but I don't feel like that. After having just over a week off, I feel refreshed and ready for the new year. The festive Christmas season was brilliant and very nice. Went out on Christmas Eve night with a few cousins, and we somehow proceeded to drink beer, champagne and a number of shots, that couldn't have been good for the human body. But hey, it was all worth it, even if it was because of the sausage and chips I had afterwards! Tasty, until we realised, that the guys who owned it - an indian guy named Charlie - stated he would be charging double as it was christmas eve. Needless to say I won't be going there again. Town was pretty quiet, therefore I don't see the need for such stupidity.

Christmas Day was then spent recovering until the afternoon. I went to my Grandparents where the usual family gathering occurred, and was drinking lots of fluid. I don't know where it all went as I didn't visit the loo until about 8pm! What a great orange string I produced! It was a great 2 days though. Just what Christmas should be like.

I spent the rest of the week sleeping, and eating and drinking. I watched what I could have of the Back to the Future trilogy which was on TV in between going places, and seeing some people. New Years Eve was fairly quiet. I preferred to go round my cousins house rather than go out and about where everything is just busy and expensive.

New Years day was productive as ever, as Wolves beat Barnsley 2-0. It should have been more!! I came back to work on the 2nd of Jan, and a nice 4 day week is much appreciated. Next week is a 3 and a half day week, as I am going to India for just over a week next Thursday. Nice January break!

Friday, December 22, 2006

Merry Christmas

Wishing you all a merry Christmas and a happy hogmonay

"Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And never brought to mind?
Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And auld lang syne?

CHORUS:
For auld lang syne, my dear,
For auld lang syne,
We'll tak a cup of kindness yet,
For auld lang syne!
And surely ye'll be your pint-stowp,
And surely I'll be mine,
And we'll tak a cup o kindness yet,
For auld lang syne!
We twa hae run about the braes,
And pou'd the gowans fine,
But we've wander'd monie a weary fit,
Sin auld lang syne.
We twa hae paidl'd in the burn
Frae morning sun till dine,
But seas between us braid hae roar'd
Sin auld lang syne.
And there's a hand my trusty fiere,
And gie's a hand o thine,
And we'll tak a right guid-willie waught,
For auld lang syne"

Monday, November 20, 2006

Update

Well, after being really busy at work last week, and being at a course the week before, I finally get to update my blog. Firstly, Ireland was good. We landed in Derry, and then met a friend, who then drove us to Donegal which is a beautiful part of Ireland. Brialliant scenery and brilliant beaches....yes, I said Beaches. Very nice.

I am just trying to think what other news I have, but it turns out there is nothing. Other than Birmingham drew with Wolves on the weekend. Great result! Oh, and I went to see Borat and Saw 3 in the same evening last week. 2 top films, and they couldn't be more different!!

Friday, November 03, 2006

Friday fun

A cabbie picks up a Nun. She gets into the cab, and notices that the
VERY handsome cab driver won't stop staring at her. She asks him why
he is staring. He replies: "I have a question to ask you but I don't
want to offend you. "

She answers, "My son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I
am and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and
hear just about everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you could
say or ask that I would find offensive."

"Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me."

She responds, "Well, let's see what we can do about that: #1, you
have to be single and #2, you must be Catholic."

The cab driver is very excited and says, "Yes, I'm single and Catholic!"

"OK" the nun says. "Pull into the next alley."

The nun fulfills his fantasy with a kiss that would make a hooker blush.
But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying.

"My dear child," said the nun, why are you crying?"

Forgive me but I've sinned. I lied and I must confess, I'm married
and I'm Jewish."

The nun says, "That's OK. My name is Kevin and I'm going to a
Halloween party."

Derry, here i come

After our exploits in France, me and my brother are going to Derry tomorrow until Sunday. Looking forward to that, and to drinking a proper pint of Guinness!

In other news I went to the Liverpool game on Tuesday at Anfield against Bordeaux. That was good. I have never been to Anfield, or Liverpool, but I enjoyed it. Anfield is quite a nice stadium, and just opposite the Kop end, outside the ground there was a brilliant kebab shop, that would give Cotswold kebab in Cheltenham a good run for its money. It was delicious! Went to the pub next door to it as well, and that was an experience! It was packed, with liverpool fans singing Liverpool songs*. Great atmosphere!

* Thats Liverpool football club songs, not random Liverpool songs. That would be riduclous!

Thursday, November 02, 2006

Paris is great!

Well, as for as the wishlist goes, we did 2 out of 5 which aint bad, however, we did alot of additional stuff too. Paris is an amazing city. We tried the snails - they were a bit chewy, but they came in a nice garlic and butter sauce, and we tried frogs legs. They weren't too bad at all - they were just like chicken wings, but a little more watery. Nice though.

We saw the Mona Lisa at the Loeuvre, and that place was really trully amazing. Brilliant. Plenty to see, and looked really nice.

We didn't go to Moulin Rouge, it would have been good, but there wasn't the time.
There were some nice irish pubs around paris. They were great. The guiness and kreonunburg there was tasty. We found another drink there at the pub which we were watching Sky Sports News on Saturday afternoon - It was 90% Cider and 10% Orange Juice. Not sure what it was called but it was a really refreshing drink. Try it. But apparently, you only notice the effects of the drink when you have about 4 or 5, stand up and fall ar$e over t*t. Be warned!!

Thursday, October 26, 2006

Paris, What a woman!

Off to Paris tonight for 4 days. Going to get the Eurotstar tonight. Should be good. I am looking forward to it, although some people say Paris isn't as nice as you might think.

The paris wish list, in no particular order:
1. Try eating snails and horse meat - and frogs legs
2. Go and see the Mona Lisa
3. Go to the Moulin Rouge
4. Buy a tie or a pair of shoes or cufflinks - not sure about this one, but my brother seems keen on it.
5. Go to the Stade de France.

I am sure more things will get added to the list once we get there.

Viva la france!